150 - Necessary Endings: Knowing When Something Has Run Its Course

Not all endings come from things going wrong.

Sometimes, on the surface, everything still looks fine.

The role is stable. The work is good. You’ve built experience, reputation, and identity around what you do.

And yet, underneath that, something begins to feel different.

Less energising. Less meaningful. Less alive.

In this episode, we explore the idea of necessary endings. The kind that don’t come from failure or crisis, but from growth.

Because one of the most difficult realisations at mid-career is this:

You can outgrow something that has served you well.


What you’ll learn in this episode

  • Why endings can be difficult even when things are “good”

  • How identity and past investment keep us tied to roles and ways of working

  • The difference between a temporary dip and something that has run its course

  • How your definition of success often changes at mid-career

  • A simple question to help you reflect on your current situation

  • Why creating space is often a necessary part of what comes next


The challenge of letting go of something that still works

Most career advice focuses on leaving situations that are clearly wrong.

  • toxic environments

  • unhealthy workloads

  • roles that are no longer sustainable

But what about the situations that are still working?

The role you’re good at.
The identity you’ve built.
The path that has made sense for years.

These are harder to walk away from.

Not because they’re wrong, but because they no longer fully fit.

And that creates a different kind of tension.


The role of identity in mid-career

Over time, we become known for certain things.

  • the expert

  • the reliable one

  • the person who delivers

And after years of reinforcing that identity, it becomes difficult to separate:

“What I do”
from
“Who I am”

That’s why endings can feel unsettling, even when they’re healthy.

You’re not just changing direction. You’re letting go of a version of yourself.


A simple question to help you reflect

One of the most useful questions you can ask yourself is:

“If I weren’t already doing this… would I start it today?”

It’s a simple question, but often a revealing one.

Because sometimes the honest answer is:

“No… probably not.”

And if that’s the case, it’s worth paying attention.

A second question can also help:

“Am I continuing because this still matters to me, or because stopping feels complicated?”


The idea of necessary endings

This episode draws on ideas from
Necessary Endings

One of the key metaphors in that book is the rosebush.

A gardener doesn’t just remove what is dead.

They also prune healthy growth.

Not because it’s bad, but because the plant can’t sustain everything indefinitely.

Some things need to be cut back so that the strongest, most meaningful growth can continue.

The same is often true in our careers.


A more sustainable way of working

At mid-career, many people begin to value different things.

  • meaning

  • freedom

  • balance

  • creativity

  • relationships

  • health

And sometimes the career or identity built earlier no longer aligns with who you’ve become.

This isn’t failure.

It’s evolution.

In the episode, I also reflect on the idea of a more “artisan” professional life:

  • thoughtful

  • skilled

  • human-scale

  • sustainable

A way of working that allows for contribution and meaningful output, without constant pressure to perform or grow.


A personal note

After 150 episodes, this podcast is going to pause for a while.

That decision sits naturally within the theme of this episode.

Not as an ending driven by burnout or frustration, but as a thoughtful pause to create space and see what emerges next.

The coaching work continues.
The courses continue.
The books remain available.

And the full podcast archive will still be here to explore.

If you’ve listened to one episode or many over the years, thank you. It genuinely means a lot.


Key takeaways

  • Not all endings come from things going wrong

  • You can outgrow something that once fit you well

  • Identity and investment can make change feel difficult

  • Honest reflection creates clarity

  • Space is often necessary for what comes next


Explore further

If you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply, you might find these helpful:

You can also find more tools, resources, and coaching support at:

https://www.bravocoaching.co.uk


Work with me

If you’re at a point in your career where something no longer feels quite right, and you’re trying to work out what comes next, I offer one-to-one coaching for mid-career professionals.

We use a structured, writing-led approach to help you:

  • understand what’s changing

  • explore realistic options

  • make confident decisions

  • take practical steps forward

Find out more here:

https://www.bravocoaching.co.uk